On unique perception of reality, emotions and judgment
Have you experienced talking to someone trying to explain your point of view only to hear these words back – ‘you’re being crazy’, ‘you’re wrong’ and ‘you’re overreacting.’ You try to prove your point but the other side needs a hearing aid to even listen to your opinion. Many people don’t want to hear another side because it will violate their perception, beliefs, order and views of the world. Most people protect their views and can’t stand contradiction because otherwise their way of life can crash down like a card house…
Some people don’t want to consider a different point of view because it will destroy their reality or perception of themselves. They don’t want to understand that we all have unique perception of reality and the way we see ourselves isn’t the same as people see us. It turns into endless judgment and debate of your feelings instead of finding mutual understanding and love.
Sometimes people don’t want to hear the truth because they don’t want their illusions destroyed.
Friedrich Nietzsche
On Awareness
Every person has a unique perception of the world. Therefore, the same daily experiences have different interpretation of reality. One human sees the glass half-empty and another person half-full. If you’re a highly sensitive person you’re able to perceive the world on a much deeper level than other people which affects the level of hurt you experience in childhood and adult life. While most beliefs and perceptions form in childhood, some do change. It depends on your desire to be open to it. Awareness isn’t something that grows quickly and automatically. You have to be open to see beyond your daily experiences and be accepting of the opinions of others. You become more aware of your actions, causes and reactions. You learn to take control of your reactions by having a thorough understanding of your inner life, triggers and pain points. The more you know yourself, the more you understand others.
Being fully aware of our thoughts, actions, feelings, body, intentions and everything that happens around us is being fully conscious. It may be difficult to gain full awareness of a situation or a person we interact with for quite some time until further information comes to light. As time passes fuller awareness emerges with more details and unaccounted points of view that either change the situation some or totally disrupt our understanding of reality.
People often project their personality and way of thinking onto others. All of us do this. It’s common to act in a certain way expecting the result based on your perception, beliefs and thinking. But the catch is that the other person is not You. So their perception of reality, inner motivation, values and beliefs may be the opposite of yours. What does it mean? It means that we can’t project our character, ethics and morality onto others expecting reciprocity or a positive exchange of energy. The other party would take your actions and deeds to interpret them through their prism of personal beliefs and values. Therefore the final outcome of any interaction is unknown and often not what you would expect to see…
That’s how we can hurt others and not be aware of it. That’s how others can hurt us and not be aware of it. But that’s also how we can bring something special into someone’s life, enriching our mutual existence with positive energy.
On YouTube: https://youtu.be/z7bFUwyNXRY
If you are depressed you are living in the past.
Lao Tzu
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.
On mental illness
I believe mental illness is grossly misunderstood. The very definition implies that people must be shamed because they are considered being crazy although mental illness is a lot more complicated and nuanced than that. “Mental illness” is a brain-heart-and-body response to adversity, emotional or physical abuse. It’s a distress signal, not craziness.
Depression, PTSD, anxiety and some other disorders happen to intelligent and talented people who function in our society the way ‘normal’ people are expected to behave. “Illness” develops inside a person’s mind and heart because of traumatic conditions. These include emotional and physical abuse in the family as well as traumatic events like car accidents, fire, failure at work, military combat, rape, etc. People learn to suppress their emotions when they served in the military or were raised in families that didn’t care much for child’s emotional well-being. When children are deprived of love and acceptance by parents they grow up starving for those feelings, still trying to conform to norms and expectations set within the family unit. Many people hide their emotions not to be shamed or called crazy because what they feel is not joy. These are thoughts of death, grief, and feelings of loneliness, emptiness, abandonment, worthlessness and numbness. Is it really crazy to feel what was perpetuated by others? Pain comes from rejection, disregard, shame, submission, disconnect and absence of love.
There are moments when depression happens to “happy” people because of personal failure at work, cheating of a spouse, death in the family, childbirth or divorce. Are those people mental or simply confused by life’s challenges? Reasons can be very different but the end result is the same. Depression.
Why are you mental if you were abused as a child, harassed as a teen or ignored as an adult? While it’s important not to be stuck in a victimhood mindset, you shouldn’t be marginalized, named or punished some more for the injustice that has already been served to your heart.
How to take control of your life
It’s important to become aware of these challenges to take control of your life because it’s you who changes the game. You need to grow new, green brunches in your heart to replace the dead ones. We all want to be loved but we need to learn to love ourselves first. Suffering can end with you taking small steps towards learning to love yourself, paying attention to your needs and finding support in circles, books, podcasts, music, dance, martial arts, yoga, drawing or whatever else that helps you heal and grow. Have an activity that helps you feel joy. Do it daily even if it takes just a few minutes of your busy day. Record your progress and thoughts in a notebook or in art sketches. Find new friends and activities that nurture your soul. Repeat. Repeat until the day you begin to feel joy and love.
It’s also a beautiful experience to find someone to love. When you’re in deep pain, it’s hard to get out of a dark pit to love anything or anybody. However, by becoming aware of your shadow and trying to take control over your daily routine, you can slowly change that. Giving love to somebody is a transformational experience that makes you feel warm and fulfilled. This is how you find connection to your soul and light. Also, be mindful of your thoughts and aim to replace or dismiss the negative ones. If you become aware of your angry, self-diminishing thoughts about yourself, would you direct them at your best friend? Probably not. So, why are you telling those thoughts to yourself? We are often more cruel and unkind to ourselves. By learning to be kind to our own heart and mind first, we can be kind to others. Over time we can spread our joy and laughter and help others heal as well.
